Thursday, September 23, 2004

forgetting the past, living the present, for the future

Dec'03 was the very first time i heard jay chou's An Jing.
back then, this song made me cry.
as do many other songs that we feel relate to us at certain moments, right?

Fast forward to 23 Sept'04:
2.18am on a cold autumn London night & shuffling through my winamp,
i stumble across this song yet again.
for the past few months, i have been skipping past this song,
afraid that it will evoke some silly emotions inside me.
which i can say is very easy.
lately, every little thing make's me tearful.
watching Carrie in SATC's last episode almost made me bawl...
then again, it's only tv & i've turned into cry baby.

so i've just sat through the whole 5mins 36secs of An Jing.
it tempted me to dig inside and sob something out, some sadness which i don't have.
i am not unloved.
i have my friends.
why am i letting a song play this emotional game with me all the time?

so i decided to loop this song.
loop it till i get numb.
so that i will no longer be haunted by a song.

i never should have been and i shall no longer be.

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