4.19am

and I'm here half sober, wondering why you never replied the last sms. I know I am just being hopeful, being silly.... and expecting more than I shoud.
Maybe it's time I finally walked away
& I hope you finally know what makes you happy.

ngao

r.ang = 1 half MC - half

I got my MC - 1 +1/2 days worth but I worked my ass off for today's halfday so that I don't have to worry about tomorrow.

*Sigh*

I work too hard....and for what? I don't know.

Will go sleep off my flu...

Red nails & a diet...

and yet again, I didn't make it through... what makes it worst is that it was the 1st round that I didn't get past. This sure sucks... I don't know if it's the 'ban' or it's what I said - the only comforting thought is that out of 10, only 1 made it through.

I tried to sleep my disappointment away but it's come back to hit me now that I'm awake. Is it just the disappointment of the interview? Or is it 'cause he's not tried in anyway on this rainy Sunday to cheer me up?

I think it's both and it's making me really down...with no where to turn to.

Maybe I shall just drive in this rain & go grab a double-cheese burger & fries to feed my emotions, since nothing & nobody else can.

Have made a mental note to eat till I get this cough full blown & then get an MC to stay home.

Friday night of fireworks

I did it again - went to feed my inner child a HUGE dose of fireworks @ the fireworks event tonight @ the Esplanade. We didn't get the full view but it was still good and really long - like 20mins? Didn't manage to get a good photo, but think the video's quite good...

Will go sleep now dreaming of fireworks going "boom boom boom" & plan where I will watch tomorrow's session. *grin*

a Sunday of memories

Helped aunt to load another trip worth of things from the old place over to her new @ AMK. It's nice and cozy, bright enough & great breeze but sure feels weird... that I have seen it lived in by the previous family.

It makes me kinda sad that we have to leave the old apartment... I have been there on weekends for my WHOLE life... literally - aunt has pictures of me there from like kiddie days... I remember us having to wash our feet the moment we get to the apartment, to us fighting for the red melamine bowls, the soya chicken wings that my grandpa cooked, opening durians on the floor...bathing in big colorful plastic tubs that look absolutely tiny now (wonder how we fit in there as kids but oh well... I was small/slim once!)

The wall in the living room with a scenery on it - which was always the backdrop of our family photos during CNY... the room that my grandpa slept in...the room I slept in when I stayed over... the... the fact that soon I'm never ever going to see/step into that apartment again makes me feel really sad. 20+years of memories it holds for me & my family... and looking back, it sure doesn't feel That long...

Well the new place is nice, but I will surely miss You - grand old one @ Farrer Court. Goodbye & I will never forget my years spent with you.

Life...

is now just about working OT... trying to get some sunshine when I can, feed my cat and tend to his wounds from fighting... and hope I get to meet 'him'... but everything's like just floating around... what do I want? I dunno.. but I will continue wide-eyed into it...and hope I emerge with answers.

*just read a post by Karen Cheng... made me stop for that moment... *

"Whereas I discover one of life’s sweetest words - Grace. It heals all that is broken inside me, and makes me want to change my life. To live the best I can. With purpose. With significance. With gratitude"

9th August'08

This day started early and was full of things to do, places to go, errands to run & all was done - super productive day! Not awake enough to write more about it now, but I just want to say: Thank you, for watching the fireworks with me...especially when you actually see no point in it at all.

'代替'

Finally got my hands on the 881 soundtrack and this 1 particular song has caught me...looping it till the cats must think i'm crazy. Hope you all will like it too...

代替' by Jim Lim 林倛玉

放开你的手
不管等多久
失败是成功之母
我们不怕苦
找得到路

你教我的歌
你唱歌的声
将那人潮都暗哑
甜美而优雅
好牵挂

原来思念也有生命
有呼吸 有你
扎根在我的心
像部分身体
再多的风雨
再多不允许
都不能阻挡
我们在一起

原来思念也有意义
有爱与勇气
我不在身边
就让思念代替
代替我去爱你
去呵护你

放开你的手
送你到最后
你的泪在我的胸口
不管等多久
无所求