Thursday, October 30, 2008

31st Oct

Another attempt at my 'dream' job.
I say 'Dream' because my parents think I am silly to persue it and that I'm too old.

Oh well =)

I shall keep fighting for a chance!

Nitez!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This dull feeling in my heart...

that refuses to go away.

I don't know how to describe it.
Realising that I might have become the 'deletee' instead of the 'deleter'... maybe, maybe that's what's eating into me. A dull ache that lingers.

I can't seem to type more.
Mind is blank.
Fingers hesistant over the keyboard.

I...wish that I am not me.

'Coz I don't wish to exist anymore.





I hate myself more that anything else.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Rain


Rained in at e Biennale South Beach site. As the rain washes away the outdoor installation, I can smell the soap in the air. Very comforting actually...Rain's good for sleeping in or just spending quality time with loved ones. This photo reminds me of one time when i was stuck at a bustop with my siblings n dad. It was raining so heavily that we had to stand on e orange seats to try and stay dry. Miss those old bustops.

letting go & forgetting

2 very different actions;

Letting go is somewhat easier than forgetting.

I still can't forget.

*sigh*

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

To chase away e Monday blues


Finished work n made Fu go eat sushi with me. It was not great n made me dream of Tues special at Tamako. Hope i finish work earlish tomorrow to eat it. Ooh, we completed e nights with ice cream from Udders again. It's So Good that 3hrs after, i can still feel e alcohol in my tummy! Fav is rum raisin, triple sec dark choc n brandy cherry. Ahh, hope i dream of it tonight. :-D

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bam!

and then it was gone...
I still don't know what hit me but it sure left a huge impact that I can't erase. Every morning I wake up & try to be happier without him.

I hope I have the strength to keep on going.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Delete?

A thought that will be so hard to put into action.
Let me sleep on it.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

And so as a friend says...

Love is Suicide.

What do you think?

The nonsense things I do when i surf the net...


You are The Empress


Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.


The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.


The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.


What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

I must let go

... because I figured I have suffered enough.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."

- Woody Allen

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Breakfast on a Sat morning


Dun think I've been up so early on a Sat for a long long time. Dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 845 to see Dr Loke for my acne prob. Told to wait 2hrs so i'm sitting at e veranda outside Mama bread, with an apple juice n just had this AMAZING bread! Cranberry chocolate creamcheese. Super yummy. Chowed it down in under ten bites n now thinking if i should buy more! :-P

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Walking away & pray I won't turn back

突然发现站了好久 不知道要往哪走
还不想回家的我 再多人陪只会更寂寞
许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我的快乐要被认可 委屈却没有人诉说
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 又无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

许多话题关于我 就连我也有听过
我想我宁可都沉默 其实反而显得做作
夜半信仰丛白剥落 拿掉防卫剩下什么
为什么脆弱时候 想你更多

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
好多好多的话想对你说 悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么附和 舍不得 要无可奈何

如果你也听说 会不会相信我
对流言会附和 还是你知道我还是我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔

如果你也听说 有没有想过我
想普通交朋友 还是你依然会心疼我
跌跌撞撞才明白了许多 冷漠的人就你一个
想到你想起我 胸口依然温柔
如果你想起我 你会想到什么

4th Oct - Amei Star Concert

Bought a new LG tv for the family & it came with 2 free tickets to Amei. Thankful that I found an avid fan in Cindy and off we went for a 3 hour concert! Amei can really sing - first time I have been to a concert that is 3 hours long with no guest singer and short costume changes. Really really great performer but as we were at the highest section, the people didn't seem very enthusiatic. I only had my C902 phone with me, so photos and video are not clear but the sounds recorded are quite good I must say!


The light were such that I couldn't take any decent shot with my camera phone.
video
"If I ain't got you"
video
原來你什麼都不想要
video
天黑黑
video
解脫 part 1
video
解脫 part 2
video
解脫 part 3

3rd Oct: The day we were stoned bridesmaids

The day started at 5am till we crawled home at 1+am... & for some bizarre reason, the bride's bouquet hit my hand (damn myself for reacting!) So yeah, it's mine and I apparently now have till end of next year to get hitched. More of "yeah right" I'm thinking.

Groom & brothers trying to be 'emo'

Ryan & 'Joey' hanging out

Joey! Sweet little thing who was so scared though

Me with big eyebags & Carroll

Me with no eyebags in this angle + Carroll

'Zi Pai' goes on...

Caroll caught in a moment

'Zi Pai' again but this looks like some photoshoot

Look at my HUGE eyebags! *boo hoo!*

Me & Megan - sweet little girl who wants to be very pretty!

I didn't touch a single drop till after the wedding when I went to smile @ the bartender and took a 3/4 bottle of red wine and 2 glasses - to share at my table lah... everyone thought I looked like an alcoholic. heh.

Sharon the bride after everything - told her she looked like those 'see lai' in HK who go to gym with make up and big hair. hah. so she poses here to show off her lovely ring too. Congrats to you babe! =) Glad you and Melvyn have each other & an amazing new home. Babies to come soon too I hope!