6.21am and i am actually awake doing my work! it's amazing aint it?

watched Master & Commander just now. russell crowe is good, but the plot is err err.....
okie only lah.
waiting in anticipation for LOTR!
dec 17th!

it's a skirt and thats how it's supposed to be worn. below is the lovely price of it.

crazy huh! would you pay $279 for a skirt?

anyway the skirt is not an issue now, cos i got an early xmas pressie from my baby>> a nice nice coat! *elated*
though i feel that i'm kinda undeserving of such a nice pressie. it's too much!
*pout*

nice nice?????

i slept for so long...i think it's my personal record.
from 9pm last night - 12pm today.
am i sick or something i wonder.

*sigh*
off to school now.

listening to Haunted by Evanescence, then it hits me.

i'm emotionally hollow

Jacob's Creek : Semillon Chardonnay vintage 2002.

do you get the gut feeling that things are going to happen, or situations turning out differently as planned?
i do.
all the time in fact.

or do i make myself know what to expect, so that i will be mentally/emotionally numb?

i give what i give, cos "you reap what you sow".

could it be that because i got hurt the last time i gave, that i block myself from feeling too much? that i dun actually let my emotions control me as much anymore?

am i still to afraid to be my real emotional self? or maybe i am better this way?
i am sweeping my unwanted baggage under the carpet and moving on, trying not to look back.

learnt this skill from the cow, who made the chicken see the bigger picture. now she's different.

but for how long?
i really wonder.........

as for the moment,
i dunno what i should feel.

got a hair cut at this poof looking shop, "hair by fairy". went in cos ming was dying for a haircut, & it was cheap!
10.50pounds for a wash and cut.

my shampoo boy was nice, gave me a nice long hairwash and head massage, while ming didnt get any. hee. i left the shop with turned out ends, making me look like a pixie. but alas, i am not able to re-create the look, so i'm back to normal.

today:: went to Bicester shopping village with my sis & her bf, where like all those factory outlets are, selling past season items. went into camper!, diesel, miss sixty, polo ralph, bodum, ck, dkny, fcuk, ted baker, paul smith erm erm....and loads of others.

but my shopping trip only got me: a new CK bra, a pair of diesel jeans & a pressie for ming.
not telling what the pressie is!!!

sheesh.
think i'm getting too stingy for my own good.

"She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell....
She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry"

i got FOUR pimples on my face! never ever have i had just a bad break-out!
there's a massive one just above my lips!!!!

*slap*

"shut yourself up.
it's just pimples"

*whine*

i'm munching on honey roasted nuts and drinking sparkling elderflower presse.
i'm getting fat and this doesnt help at all.

sometimes i just feel so horrible about myself.
why cant i have the confidence?

spent the weekend at friend's place, sleeping 2 nights with a cat that goes wacky @ night.
wait. make that TWO cats.
*grin*

then again, i think ALL cats go wacky @ night ya?
tinky winky is so cute! loves to be rubbed with the feet but hates the hand. kinda odd.
i like it best when he lets me carry him like a baby..... simply adorable.

i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat
i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat
i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat
i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat
i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat
i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat i want a cat!!!

i'm never going to get one as long i am in stooopid london.

*fustrated*

brokenchinadoll is gone, and i wish you love.

had a dream last night, that i went home & found out that my cat had died, & my family didnt tell me. felt so lost & heartbroken i couldnt even cry.

i'm thinking too much about cats.

*crazy*

having brie cheese on biscuit.

went cat-sitting just now: a nice black cat with white chest & paws, named tinky-winky. curious little one, which sat in one corner & looked at me watch tv... but aww still so sweet.

i miss my cat.

i'm getting this weird fetish with looking for photos of in-grown toe nails. all this thanks to the wonder google image search. it's vicious. i keep on searching for more........

erm.

no offence to those ppl who suffer from it but damn do they look really really gross when it's all red & oozing pus. how the hell can ppl take it?? if i ever suffered from it, i would have been tempted to pick and dig and cut, or practically chop my toe off!

okie.

me=weirdo

Sat:: i went to my first Guy Fawkes bonfire+fireworks party ever! it was cold as usual but i cannot explain to you how great it was to stand there in the night, with the co-ordinated music+firework blasting thru the sky...... i felt like a kid once again, looking up at a big beautiful 'giant' streaking & bursting all over. It's just such a different experience for me every single time.

ming, i never told you this but since young,i have always been a sucker for fireworks, & i would grasp every chance i had to go for fireworks display back in spore. i've got people who stare at me with disbelief, who cant understand why i'm so crazy about something so noisy and 'mundane'. Thanks for being there with me, it meant a lot.


Today was:
slazy lazy sunday.
stayed in to watch the Europe MTV Awards....i don't like Justin Timberlake! it erks me that he got 3 awards. urghs.

slacked slacked slacked....then watched this programme about "The Theory of Everything" talked about: quantum mechanics, physics, atoms, neutron, protons, equation abnormalies blah blah blah. i'm not afraid to admit that it was all boggling & i got lost halfway through it & i got sleepy = that's why i was born to be an artist!

then a documentary programme by this BBC reporter who was in Iraq covering the war. it's depressing. i just sat there with my hands on my face, stoned out by the cruel reality of war, how friendly fires happen and how war destroys so many lifes. The team lost an Iraqi guy who was their translator + part of the BBC team, in a friendly fire attack gone very wrong. The whole crew was very effected & all but 2 chose to return back home.

This line by the reporter just struck me hard, dunno why:
"this man died because he wanted to be my friend."

i watched the Matrix Revolutions already!!!!! *grin* much better then the second one... not so mind boggling.

i need a holiday job.

think i might sink into depression soon...
it's winter. sun sets early. xmas will suck.

had a project work assesment on tuesday. the wonderful thing was that i didnt start anywork!woke up at 12pm on monday and did my work thru till to tuesday morning, slept on the train to school and got into studio really really stoned.

did somemore work and surprise surprise! my lecturer was just curious why i was so way behind, but was ok with what i had. phew. left the presentation actually thinking " wow. in one day i can do so much...imagine if i actually did some work everyday..."

hung ard in school till 6pm, then headed to weatherspoons for dinner with Pennapa. i had the massive looking western platter: buffalo wings, chips & ribs. finished all the wings, chips and gave up on the ribs. just cant take the taste of the pork in my mouth.

got home...& actually did a bit more of sewing & knitting for my work then zzz @ about 12. think i must be really tired....havent done an 'all thru the night thing' for ages, and my body cant take it? i slept thru my alarm clock this morning and kinda screwed up my neck...... it's aching like hell and i am trying not to move it too much.

eeks. i feel like some old women.

ahh...
this is the long awaited published photo of us @ the Heineken Session, Velvet.

no: i don't know who that Lido ang moh is & that bottle of heine wasnt mine! *grin*
i kind of miss my long hair....

gatecrasher @ Heaven was great! think i'm getting a tad too old for the club scene....couldnt dance for long. baaa...

Heaven is like some old cellar converted into a club, so it's got like little passageways linking to different rooms that have high arched ceilings. basically a nice place to chill...but i warn you now it's a predominantly gay & lesbian club.

there is going to be this MASSIVE gatecrasher event in Birmingham on 29th Nov. Just to drop some names: Tiesto, Paul Van Dyk & Judge Jules will be there! http://www.gatecrasher.co.uk/connected/nec03/index.htm

i soooo want to go, but i got a dateline on 1st dec.
no fair!