i think i am just an empty shell now, devoid of being able to feel and trust...why is everyone out there making things a mess for me? why cant they just let me be me? why do they want to step in and say i am wrong wrong wrong??? who are they to say they are doing this cos they care for me? what makes them think they are right?

i had my highs and lows in life and i am thankful for everything.
i know i shouldnt dwell on the past but look on to the future but my past is haunting me. haunting me bad.
i am learning to forgive but somethings i cannot forget.

selfish i may be. but that's all i can be now.

ppl say i should be grateful i have a chance to study in london.

i am.

just that things never went well from the start and it aint looking any better now.
put yourself in my shoe.
feel the pain i go thru, cry the tears i weep and dun criticise or question me anymore.

i am nothing now.

just a girl too afraid to love, to feel and to trust even those ard me.

leave me alone.

every single one.

dun push me to the brink or i will just run....

run away from you all.

i don't want to cry anymore as the tears never help.

just let me be,

in my own world.

let me be alone with God to heal my pain.

please don't ask why and what.

come near me and i will push.

i apologize if i have hurt anyone, cos i know i did.

so let me be and stay away.
alone, i will find myself someday.