it's coming to the 3rd month of my arrival to london and i was finally feeling kinda comfortable and settled in, so i decided to go do some xmas shopping on my own today. i couldnt have chosen a worse day..it was raining and frankly speaking, far too near xmas to buy things that i really want to get as they are all sold out. As i was fighting my way through Oxford Street with thousands of people with the same insane idea as me, i felt a dragging tug on my bag. i instantly turned around and pulled it right close to me, and to my horror >>> the front compartment's zip was 3/4 opened!!!!!!! i looked up at that instant and i thought i saw this surprised look on this gal/women or bitch staring at me. i reached in and felt for my wallet and phone which, Thank God! were still intact, took them out of the front compartment and dumped them right inside the main part of my bag.

i was too flustered at that moment to have much of a reaction but as i stepped into Borders to grab a gift....thoughts of me losing my stuff to some bitch-ass professional pickpocket made me super pissed! ( sorry for my intense words...but i have to release the tension ) Just before i came to london, my piano teacher warned me about pickpockets and that somehow or other, everyone who stays in London will get pickpockted at least once! But i dont want to become a victim!!!!!!! It's time to be paranoid again, to view everyone with an 'evil' eye....... think i am never ever going to feel 100% safe in London. boo hoo....i want my normal Singaporean life back....... late nights hanging out in town, catching the night bus, walking back alone and not feeling a single bit of fear.

dear God, why did you bring me to London??? i know You have a plan, but i cant take it anymore. i think i am going nuts! Its too lonely for me, yet the streets are too crowded with people i don't want to be with..... i need someone to really talk to, to share my thoughts with.....to gossip and share some tears with. I know that i should cast all my burdens onto you, but but.....i need someone of physical presence! *sniff* There is this great big void in my life now that i cant fill up and i don't exactly know what it is.

so much of me being independant huh?

Maybe it's time to be really humble and stick my ear out to listen for what the Lord is trying to tell me.